How to Like Yourself
A 4 Month Group Coaching Program for People Who Want Relief From Self-Criticism
What happens inside of you when feel worried that you’ve made a mistake or that something isn’t right about you?
Do you start scrolling on Instagram, sure that everyone but you knows how to get it right?
Do you become fixated on how to change that thing - googling diets or self-help titles?
Do you feel stuck in a low mood, feeling ashamed, and wanting to isolate from others?
How about when you experience rejection, or someone tells you you hurt their feelings?
Do you feel defensive and quick to make the other person wrong?
Do you feel defeated and worried you aren’t going to be loved or accepted?
Do you start working harder trying to please others and keep everyone happy with you?
I want you to know exactly what to do when you’re going down that rabbit hole, and how to get back to feeling at home with yourself, and like you’ve got your own back.
Self-criticism, shame, self-hatred, envy, comparison - these are all the work of your ‘inner-critic.’
Your inner-critic develops in childhood as a safety mechanism. It criticizes you in an attempt to keep you in line so you avoid rejection, humiliation, shame, punishment, or abandonment.
Everyone loves to tell you to be nicer to yourself, love yourself, have more compassion, which is great and all, but if the inner-critic is a strategy we developed to keep ourselves safe, shifting it isn’t that simple.
It’s like when people tell you to relax, and you think:
Great, thanks, but HOW DO I ACTUALLY DO THAT?
Your inner-critic has spent years taking in messages from family, culture, peers, school, media, about what parts of you are safe to express and what ways of being result in negative consequences.
As adults, we get to reevaluate those messages, and learn what to do when our inner-critic is absolutely shouting at us that we’re doing it wrong.
“Kate is an incredibly effective facilitator. She is disarming, funny, vulnerable and knowledgeable. Her candor and her demeanor made me feel validated and understood from the get go.” - E.S.
“This was very enlightening for me. Kate is extremely knowledgeable about the core issues that trigger anxiety.” - D.P.
I want you to . . .
Enjoy your life without looping worry that you aren’t doing it right.
Go to sleep at night without ruminating about that one thing you said in third grade.
Walk through rejection or invalidation with tools you can draw on immediately to avoid the painful shame spiral.
Speak up for yourself, express your needs, ask for what you want instead of always swallowing those things to keep others happy with you.
Spend your time with people you admire and respect without feeling afraid that you don’t have enough to offer.
Have the career of your dreams without constant anxiety you won’t live up to expectations.
Remember that you are literally made of stars, that you are incredible flaws and all, and that your life is beautiful.
Welcome to . . .
How to Like Yourself
A 4 Month Group Coaching Program for People Who Want Relief From Self-Criticism
It doesn’t work to tell our inner-critic to get lost; we have to learn what it’s afraid of and how to reassure it. We do this by learning new ways to feel safe now.
How to Like Yourself is a 4 month group coaching program in which I will teach you how to transform your inner-critic using skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), resilience research, and my own special magic. We start June 27th!
It includes:
3 live calls per month, 12 total, all recorded and saved for you. Calls will be Tuesdays 12-1:30pm EST beginning June 27th. If you can’t attend live, no problem! You’ll have access to all the recordings, and can Voxer me with any questions or for coaching as you work through the program. The live calls will be a mixture of me teaching you how to approach self-criticism from the lens of DBT and CBT, and time for you to share, process, and get coaching from me.
Tuesday-Friday Voxer (voice memo app) access to me for individualized coaching and questions. If you start to get down on yourself or are spiraling into worry, shoot me a voice memo and I’ll coach you through it.
A workbook so you have all of the info and skills in one place to reference. Here is where the DBT and CBT worksheets and outlines from the live classes will be.
Weekly feedback form so you can let me know what’s working, what’s not, and how to make it perfectly tailored to you.
Cost for the program is one payment of $2,000 or a 4 month payment plan of $500 per month.
Here’s the breakdown of the program:
June: Getting to know YOUR inner-critic - what it’s concerned about, how it talks to you, where these messages came from, and how to change your inner dialogue. You’ll learn all about ‘invalidation’ and what it has to do with your inner-critic. People on Instagram tend to talk about telling your inner-critic to take a hike or repeating affirmations that don’t feel true to you, neither of these work. Instead, you’ll learn how to understand what your inner-critic is up to, how to befriend it, and assure it you’re learning new skills to navigate feeling hurt or worried.
July: Fear of what other people are thinking - how to handle shame, social anxiety, invalidation, and rejection. Here’s where we get into the nitty gritty of the messages your inner-critic sends you, and what situations tend to make it really loud. You’ll learn how to interrupt a shame spiral, how to work through social anxiety, and how to handle feeling criticized or abandoned. You’ll also learn what to do when your behavior is making you feel ashamed, but you just can’t seem to change it.
August: Speaking up, expressing your needs, setting boundaries, choosing yourself instead of always pleasing other people. If you feel self-critical or worried about rejection or criticism, you are likely prone to sacrificing your needs for others, or feeling terrified at the thought of addressing conflict. You’ll learn a step by step process to approach these conversations, and get what you need in a way that brings people closer to you instead of pushing them away.
September: How to like yourself - developing an intimate, loving, supportive relationship with yourself. We’ll end our program by putting it all together so that you have a clear roadmap to having those “I love and accept myself” affirmations actually feel true. You’ll learn how to build a life you love and have the skills to feel confident moving through the world.
"Kate’s genius is in the way she cuts through the “how do you feel” therapy talk but in the most loving way. She tells you the truth like your best friend would. She’s an expert at her craft and delivers it in a way that’s relatable and easy to understand while leaving an immense impact. Being part of her world is nothing short of literal magic. Kate has changed my life. " - R.T.
"I loved the environment and always felt really welcomed and supported every time I shared something. Also, I liked that we were able to go through personal dilemmas and apply the skills we were learning to our own lives rather than keeping them purely hypothetical." - A.S.
Meet your coach,
Kate Ireland, PhD
Hi, I’m Kate!
I’ve been a psychotherapist in high schools, colleges, treatment centers, and private practice for 15 years. My coaching draws on skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and resilience research.
I hold a Master's degree in Counseling Psychology and a Ph.D. in East West Psychology.
I love skills coaching because clients walk away with a concrete plan to address what they are struggling with, one that actually works. These are skills you can draw on for the rest of your life when issues or difficult feelings pop up.
"I was like, okay, maybe do the thing Kate said, and I kid you not, I actually believed they didn't hate me! It was touch and go for a bit, but I fixed my mistake and they responded with appreciation, and I was like, KATE IS MAGIC. Thank you." - R.B.
"I have a lot of space inside where all those self-hating thoughts just aren't anymore. I keep thinking to myself - is this what some people just feel like naturally? I am perhaps . . . actually confident!" - B.T.
FAQs
When are the live calls?
Live calls will be Tuesdays 12-1:30pm EST beginning June 27th. I allow for 90 minutes but if we’ve covered the material, and all questions have been answered, we may end earlier than that. The calls will be 3 Tuesdays in a row, with 1 week off for integration.
The calls conflict with my schedule, can I still sign up?
Absolutely! The calls will be recorded if you cannot attend live, and you have Voxer (voice memo app) access to me Tuesdays-Friday to ask me any questions or get 1:1 coaching.
Do I have to share on the live calls?
You will never be called on or asked to share unless you volunteer. This is your time and space to get what you need to start feeling better about yourself.
Is this therapy?
This coaching, it is not psychotherapy and is not appropriate for individuals in crisis.
Are there payment plans?
Of course! Payment can be one payment of $2,000 or 4 monthly payments of $500.